Have Better Conversations and Build Better Relationships With Your Kids

As our children get older, they become more independent and begin discovering who they are as individuals. They are trying new things, making new friends, and enjoying the freedom and excitement of growing up. Unfortunately for parents, this self-actualization tends to foster a desire to pull away from the very people who raised them. 

Conversations that were once easy to have with our kids now end in loud sighs, eye-rolls, and short, unsatisfactory answers. The more we push, the more our kids try to slip away. It’s painful knowing our children don’t want to be around us anymore. Or could it be that we are not communicating with them correctly?

Engaging our children in conversation can pave the way for strong family bonds. But when our kids constantly resist, how do we keep the conversation going? Here we will discuss the importance of conversing, offer ways to inspire conversations at home, and give you tips to keep your kids talking. 

The Importance of Family Conversation 

Making family time a priority has proven beneficial for our kids. Spending time together over dinner and being engaged in thoughtful conversations can increase your children’s self-esteem and resilience. This purposeful time together shows your kids their presence is wanted and appreciated. 

Participating in dinner-time talk can even lead to better grades in school. When kids feel supported, their motivation and desire to succeed soars. They can even use this time to discuss difficult assignments or concepts and ask for help. 

Vocabulary improves and speaking skills grow as they observe adults or older siblings engaging in mature discussions. They begin to mimic what they’re learning at the dinner table in school or with friends. 

Above all, these conversations build trust with your teens during a time when the world can feel scary and uncertain. Research shows that this time together can increase healthy habits and decrease negative behaviors that teens can be tempted or pressured into by creating a safe space for them to talk and get advice. 

6 Conversation Starters to Get Your Kids Talking Over Dinner

Engaging your kids in meaningful conversation is so important, but how do we start the conversation? Here are six ideas you can use to get everyone talking.

#1 Rose, Bud, and Thorn

This icebreaker is a creative way to get your family talking about their day. Start by asking everyone to go around the table and name a rose, or something good that happened to them today, a bud, or something they’re looking forward to tomorrow, and a thorn, or something not so great that happened and how they’d handled it.

#2 Would You Rather

Laughing is a great way to make everyone feel comfortable and want to participate. Present a “Would you rather…” question to the table and have everyone explain their reasoning. Here are some fun examples to get you started!

#3 Wish of the Week

Creating goals can build motivation. Wish of the week is a creative way to get your kids thinking about some of those goals. Ask your kids to announce one thing they wish will happen this week. This might be getting a good grade on a test or scoring points during their next sports game. This activity can help you stay connected with your kid’s likes and dislikes.

#4 Moody Weather

To start the conversation, ask everyone to describe their mood in terms weather. For example, if you are in a great mood you can describe yourself as being a blue, sunny sky. If you are feeling sad, maybe you describe yourself as a cloudy, rainy day. Frustration might look like a thunderstorm or tornado. This quick activity can open the door for other topics and follow up questions.  

#5 Glow and Grow Meal Review

If you’re the one cooking and you’re okay with some criticism, this activity is a fun way to invite conversation about your meal. Or, to keep it unbiased, you can do this activity on a night your family orders take-out. Ask everyone to announce one glow and one grow about their meal. A glow would be something they really enjoyed about it, and a grow would be something that could be improved. Maybe the chicken was cooked to perfection, but the mashed potatoes could use a little salt next time. 

#6 What in the World

Engaging in dialogue about relevant news topics can help your kids stay informed about the world around them. Ask them about something they heard in the news this week. Then your family can start a discussion about their thoughts and opinions and where they found their information. Remember to respect each other and be open to everyone’s ideas!

Tips to Keep the Conversation Going

Sometimes getting a conversation started with your kids can be tough, but keeping the conversation going can be even harder. Here are some tips to help captivate your kids’ attention for longer. 

Have some topics handy – Thinking of something to say on the spot can be tricky and feel forced. Have some talking cards handy. The Family Dinner Project has some great resources.

Be a good listener – Show your kids you are interested in what’s going on in their lives. Don’t dominate the conversation, simply sit back and show you are listening.

Don’t judge or criticize – Try not to jump in with judgments or criticism. Save it for another time. Any type of shaming can quickly cause your child to shut down and be more reluctant to talk to you in the future.

Validate their feelings – Using phrases such as “I hear you” or “I understand why you would feel that way” will show your kids they can trust you with their thoughts and feelings. 

Share your own experiences – Sharing similar experiences from your own childhood can help your kids relate to you and realize you’ve been in their shoes. 

Keep it casual – Try to keep the conversation as casual and natural as possible. Your kids will recognize and resist a forced conversation.

Praise and positivity – Everyone loves a little praise and positivity. Tell them they made a good choice or compliment them on something they achieved that day. 

Keep trying – If it doesn’t work the first time, don’t push it. But try again the next day and keep looking for topics your kids want to converse about.

How The Juice Uses the News to Inspire Conversation

At The Juice we want to give you the tools to create purposeful conversations at home. Enrolling in our program gives your children access to news-based articles with relevant information about current events.

To learn more about The Juice, visit our homepage at thejuicelearning.com.