Having Open Communication With Kids is the Key to Building Strong Relationships

It’s no secret that 2020 was one of the most eventful and divisive years many of us have witnessed, with many problems still lingering as we transition into 2021. As adults scramble to debate and find answers, it can be easy to push aside opportunities to have important conversations about these current events and sensitive topics with our kids.

It might be your instinct to protect your children from the news, which is understandable– some of the topics are complicated, and can even seem scary if they are ongoing issues. However, now more than ever, it is critical to talk about sensitive topics and issues with our children. With social media more accessible than ever, our kids are hearing about these issues, whether we want them to or not; however, they are probably not getting the whole story, and more importantly, not processing with the people they should be: their family. 

If you’re struggling with how to best bring up these topics at home, you aren’t alone. Here are our 5 tips for talking about sensitive topics at home:

Create a Safe Space for the Conversation

Before beginning conversations about sensitive topics, it’s important to reminds kids that they are safe to ask questions, be wrong, and figure things out with you. Your children will develop a sense of how certain conversations might go, either stopping or encouraging them to bring up sensitive questions and topics at home. Without knowing that their questions will be received and discussed well, children will be hesitant to bring them up.

To create a safe space over time that allows constructive conversations to happen, try to incorporate conversation rules and guidelines into your everyday life that make home a place where kids want to talk. When this is done over time, it will open up opportunities for children and parents to start conversations about sensitive topics:

• Hear children out: Let them finish their thoughts and ask all their questions without being cut off or interrupted. Using a tool can be a helpful and fun way to show that one person talks at a time– you can even try making a conversation tool as a family!
• Ask what they think: Start conversations with focusing on your children’s thoughts and questions, finding out what they think first. Encourage them to critically think about their questions instead of waiting for others to answer for them. Try to frame questions by starting with “How” or “Why” to get children to think about the why behind their thoughts and assumptions. 
• Model how to respond: Instead of letting a child or parent dominate the topic, turning it into a lecture, focus on fostering conversation. This means asking and answering questions, making sure everyone has time to share, and letting voices and ideas bounce off of each other to foster learning and critical thinking. For more tips on how to create a safe space, check out this article by the American Federation of Teachers. 

Try to Remain Unbiased

Another important aspect to discussing difficult topics is to try to remain unbiased. As adults, many of us have inherent biases and slants, some more obvious than others, when it comes to sensitive topics and current issues. While it may be tempting to raise your children to think like you, it’s important to focus on the bigger picture: children develop critical thinking skills when they are encouraged to be aware of their thoughts and decisions. 

This shouldn’t mean that you don’t share your thoughts and opinions with your children, but it might change how you frame it. Instead of defining what you and therefore the whole family believes, explain your beliefs to your children and how you came to develop them; more so, encourage them to find their own answers. 

Another way to encourage an unbiased approach to questions is to encourage media literacy whenever you can. Try to use a variety of sources when looking up information and read them together. Show children how different news sources discuss various issues and topics. 

Looking for a place to start? The Juice recently published a Bias Case Study that investigated how different media sources covered some of President Biden’s recent executive orders. This article is a great way to show students different examples of bias when covering the same event, and it outlines how The Juice remains unbiased in our reporting of current events in our daily newsletters.

Don’t Let Conversations Happen Only Once

In a Washington Post article, the author argues that conversations about important topics should never build up to have one big talk, but should take place in a “series of littles ones throughout childhood.” Families should aim to keep conversations open ended and ongoing, so that children feel safe to bring up questions and thoughts that bubble up after the conversation ends.

It’s important to have realistic expectations, and to note that conversations won’t always go perfectly. What’s important is creating an environment where everyone knows conversations are recurring, and the end of a conversation never means the topic won’t be discussed again.  

A fun way to encourage ongoing conversations is to set traditions or family gathering time that fosters these types of discussions. For example, you can make every Friday night dinner a time for everyone to bring up a question or topic they’ve been thinking about. Another idea is to play board games or complete puzzles together. Focusing on a game or puzzle together might be the perfect gateway to meaningful conversation. After conversations end, encourage your children to keep thinking, and to let you know if they have any other additional thoughts in the days to come. 

Don’t Avoid Conversations Because You Don’t Have All the Answers

It might be intimidating to have serious conversations, especially about current events and topics. Sometimes, it feels easier to turn away from a conversation when we don’t think we know all the right answers, or don’t have a solution ready to go. However, being upfront and honest with your children during these conversations can create strong bonds and trust at home, and 

When you find yourself without answers or information to answer your children’s questions, it’s important to first admit that the topic is difficult or awkward to talk about. Talking about this will show children that they aren’t alone in their questioning. Afterwards, offer to look up information to discuss the topic, becoming learners together. 

Give Your Children Hope

The issues and topics being debated and discussed in our world can be scary at times. When we focus and hear about the bad, it can feel like that’s all there is. While we shouldn’t shy away from these important and necessary conversations, we should also remind kids that there is hope, and people are working to make the world a better place. 

When I was a by and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.

Mr. Rogers

At the same time, we should cheer children on that they can be a part of the change. With awareness of the world’s events and strong 21st Century Skills, children will be well-equipped to take on a changing and complicated world. 

Using The Juice to Start Conversations

If you are looking for a way to start having these conversations at home, The Juice’s delivers daily news stories covering the most important current events without bias in order to help students develop critical thinking skills. We encourage teachers and parents to use The Juice to stay up-to-date with daily stories, but to foster conversation and discussion about important (and sometimes sensitive) topics.